root@galaxy:~/propaganda$sudo make me a legend

Samsung & Linux
Propaganda HQ

Brought to you by Samsung guy (also linux guy) / nintendo / Yos. Zero walled gardens. Zero compromises. Infinite aura.

#TuxMaxxing#GalaxyGang#NoWalledGardens#S-PenGodMode
[01]

The Apple Sheep Hall of Shame

A fair, balanced, and completely objective comparison. We ran the numbers. The numbers don't lie. Apple does.

iOS

Certified Brick
  • Restricted like a prison
  • 0 Aura
  • Overpriced brick
  • Locked ecosystem
  • Charges extra for a charger
  • Green bubbles = personality test you failed

Android / Samsung

Peak Performance
  • Infinite customization
  • 1.2 billion aura points
  • S-Pen god mode
  • Tux-maxxing compatible
  • Expandable storage (a concept)
  • Files you actually own
[02]

The Aura Meter

Your aura is a real, measurable, scientifically-audited quantity. Make good choices. Or don't. We'll know.

Current aura level0rank: neutral NPC
iSheepTux Lord

Each good decision: +1000. The forbidden fruit: -5000 and public humiliation.

[03]

Tux-maxxing Corner

All hail Tux.

Tux didn't ask for a subscription. Tux didn't phone home. Tux just runs - on your laptop, your fridge, your router, the servers that host the website telling you Linux is too hard. Ditch the spinning beach ball. Ditch the forced update at 3pm during your meeting. Free your machine.

  • $rm -rf /windows/bloatware
  • $sudo apt install freedom
  • $uptime: 412 days (try that, macOS)
  • $ricing > rotting in iCloud jail

// I use Arch, by the way.

[04]

The 1-Zecond Lagswitch

Reality runs at 60fps. The Legend runs at 59. He is permanently exactly one zecond behind everyone else, and honestly? It's a flex. His internal clock is cooked beyond repair. We sync to him now.

/dev/lagswitch — live
internal clock (cooked, -1 zecond):--:--:--

> ping reality.local

reply from reality: time=1000ms (1 zecond lag)

reply from reality: time=1000ms

reply from reality: time=1000ms

status: cooked. lag is a lifestyle. ✓

root@galaxy:~$ logout

Maintained by Samsung guy (also linux guy). No iPhones were harmed in the making of this site. Their aura, however, did not make it.

Connection closed.